The Way the Cookie Crumbles

Its an overplayed cliché and I am personally not a big fan of its use. Ever since Bruce Almighty used it 3,456 times in a two hour film, I dropped it from my vocabulary. It reminds me of Office Space when Michael Bolton says, "There was nothing wrong with it... until I was about 12 years old and that no-talent ass clown became famous and started winning Grammys." But there is no better phrase that I can come up with to describe how it is to be a Vanderbilt Football fan. That's the way the cookie crumbles…

For years we have been at a complete competitive disadvantage by having high academic standards and actually requiring our student athletes to go to class. I mean football players were forced to sit in the front of class while I slept off a hangover on Friday morning from a rough night at Bobbie's. And just when you think, oh hells yes we have talent to play against the big boys (This began with Cutler's Jr. year) the f ing Zebras get vindictive on our ass. That's the way the cookie crumbles.

I will use two specific plays to illustrate my point. I know that there have been calls go our way, although I can't seem to recall any, but these two instances sum up just exactly how the mofoing cookie crumbles.

#1. The most well known case of any Dore being bent over Brokeback style. (That is of course until "Real World: Denver" came out) Earl Bennett's late TD and phantom excessive celebration call. It cost us a chance to win in the swamp and a bowl game. This call is infamous. Michael Wilbon called it the "worst call he has EVER seen in football." That is all you need to know. Anytime a guy whose job is to watch sports claims that it is the worst ever, it puts it into a special category. Just writing about it makes me pissed, the language I want to use would forever get me kicked out of the blogging world. Seriously the last time I watched the game on ESPN Classic I puked. So from now on I will only watch it until I see Culter's dad do the Gator Chomp and put that on loop, because that makes me so happy.But that game as a whole makes me sick, I will just say…That's the way the cookie crumbles.

#2. His name is play is an obvious number one. But this second lesser known play had what I believe to be a much more negative impact upon our season. It occurred in the 4th quarter on September 16th last year. Vandy had a lead on Arkansas and the Hogs had the ball on around their own 30 yard line. A swing pass was called and the pass fell to the ground in the backfield. A Commodore db, I believe it was Rashard Langford, picked up the ball and sprinted towards the end zone, only for the play to be whistled dead when he was on the 10 without a Hog in sight. This was obvious, on instant replay the ball was thrown 2 fucking yards backwards, not even close to being a forward pass, but the refs blew it dead. By doing this instant replay was not available and Arkansas scored a few plays later, won the game and went on to win 10 games. If the refs would have just done their job and let the play finish, then review it…FMAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH and the Dores go to a bowl. But…That's the way the cookie crumbles.

We got hosed by a bunch of Michael Bolton's. But that is what we must overcome. It is not good in the SEC's eyes to have us knock off a Florida in the swamp when they are in a title hunt, so we will just need to overcome. To tie it off with another waaaaaaaaaaaaaay overused phrase, it's just the way the ball bounces. Well, this year maybe it will bounce our way…It's about damn time.